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Until Money Disagreements Do Us Part

by Don Current on July 15, 2010

Communication Blockage

Photo courtesy Josh Fassbind

Do you and your spouse have a lot of disagreements over money? Money issues are listed as one of the top causes of divorce in the nation. There is hope though.

Often times two opposite personalities come into a marriage. In the case of money, it is a saver and a spender that many times are joined together. These two personalities have difficulties getting on the same page with their finances.

A budget, or spending plan, is one tool that can help resolve some of this conflict. As is true with all situations in marriage though, it requires a little give and take. The saver needs to relax a little and put some money into the budget for the spender to spend. Make sure there is a little shopping money, or eating out money, or whatever the particular passion of the spender is. Joining in with them is important as well. Don’t be a sourpuss about their spending as long as it falls within the budget.

The spender needs to understand the saver’s need to put money away for a rainy day and allow them to budget that. Spend what you are allotted, but no more.

You both need to understand that there is only a certain amount of income each month, so you’re both going to have to give a little to fit everything in. If you want a little more money to spend, you’re going to have to find an area that both of you can agree on to cut a little in order to get that extra spending in.

Another area that can be a huge relief to one (or both) of the partners in a marriage is the emergency fund. Often times one spouse, usually the wife, is wired such that having an emergency fund in place is a huge security blanket for them. Knowing that is in place touches them in a place that the other person in the relationship doesn’t even know exists. They must try and accept this need for security however and work diligently to get this in place and keep it in place. Whenever an “emergency” comes up, make every effort to find other places in the budget to cover it without touching the emergency fund. This will pay huge rewards with your spouse. Three to six months of basic expenses is a good target to achieve.

By working together to create and stick to a budget, your marriage will grow stronger than it has ever been. You will find that not only does it become a non-issue for you, you’ll find you have more money to work with as well.